Wanting to head to a restaurant with your kids at some point?

In terms of research, there has not been a lot done in this area, as our work often focuses on more difficult problems. But, here are some tips from some research conducted some years ago - these strategies were helpful to families who had children aged 3-8 years that were disruptive in restaurants.  The children in this study did not have disabilities, so also below are some smaller steps for children that may need them.

1.     Tell your child what you expect

Right at the start (or before you go in), let your child know some rules, like “We stay at our table”, “You need to wait calmly for the food, but you’ll get your toys while you wait”

Smaller step: Have the rules shown visually for your child, or role play it

2. Choose a table away from the crowd

A corner, or near a wall is good.  And, ideally away from anything really distracting that means your child wants to keep getting up (like, the fish tank)

Smaller step:  Go ‘off-peak’ when the restaurant is super quiet (Check out First Table for cheaper meals!)

Or, start out with short snack meals (e.g., morning tea)

3. Try to seat your child on the side nearest to the wall

This makes it easier to guide your child back to sitting, than trying to chase them through the restaurant

4. Separate your children

If your children tend to get disruptive together, try to space yourself between them

Smaller step:  If you need to, take your child out one-on-one initially, before taking siblings

5. Offer some pre-meal snacks

Have a few small snacks in your bag to get your kids through the waiting, that don’t fill them up too much!

6. Order food that your kids enjoy

That’s right, just order what they like! While you may have great intentions for them to try the risotto, the restaurant is usually not the time, nor the place. (But, if you really can’t resist, order that new meal yourself and allow them to choose some off your plate if interested).

Also - restaurants will commonly serve meals (even kid’s ones) that are too hot to eat - it can be hard for children to wait for food to cool down when it’s right there. Feel free to ask staff to bring food when it’s cooled a bit.

Smaller step:  You may need to bring your child’s entire meal initially, especially if you aren’t sure that the restaurant can cater for them (e.g., if they have allergies or are still working on a certain texture of food).

7. Have some activities ready

Try to keep some toys or activities in your bag for the waiting time. It can be as simple as cars, blocks, or colouring books that they don’t see often.  Now, this research was done before the introduction of smartphones and tablets – if nothing else works, then these are okay when your child is waiting for the food.  Be clear with your child that these things are just for “waiting” and get put away when the food comes.

8. Moving utensils and other items out of reach until needed for eating

This includes asking the staff to remove extra breakable items off your table too, like wine glasses!

9. Remove toys when the food arrives

10. Praise your child for doing the right things

Try to look out for and pay attention to all the things your child does well in the restaurant.  Like, “Wow, I can’t believe how well you’re waiting!”, “Thanks for sitting down”.  Just giving regular attention is good too – like making sure to ask your child about what their food is like, talking about your own food, or commenting on what is going on around you.

Keen for a link to the original research study? Click here

Need more help with your child’s eating, at home or in the community? See services here